Hours of raiding like this would leave any girl's velcro triangle looking like a darts team's goalkeeper, and I was no different! He munched on my open-faced ham sandwich, even though I'd been up on bricks for the best part of a week. My mouth was so full of mutton dagger and man fat, the Da Vinci load was haemorrhaging down my chin and onto my chesticles. There was Da Vinci load dripping from his spam dagger and I was wetter than an Italian cruise ship. We were ready for more. Now, I've seen more foreskins than a rabbi during a baby boom, but the sight of his one-eyed milkman made my shrimp sap flow like Wayne Rooney's dick in an OAP home.